English jokes

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Re: English jokes

Post autor: Ceucal » 26 lut 2012, 16:08

Very funny and interesting english jokes. Can you share some women jokes in english? I am interested in women jokes and want to know women jokes in English. Please share some women jokes in English.

Re: English jokes

Post autor: XfunnyXgirlXdee » 29 gru 2010, 15:44

U don't get it
Is Edam ;p Just have 2 read made backward

Re: English jokes

Post autor: Matiz99 » 29 gru 2010, 15:32

XfunnyXgirlXdee pisze:What kind of cheese is made backwards?
:d

So? :PP

Re: English jokes

Post autor: XfunnyXgirlXdee » 29 gru 2010, 0:47

What kind of cheese is made backwards?
:d

Re: English jokes

Post autor: Estratos » 17 lut 2008, 18:47

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Re: English jokes

Post autor: [email protected] » 06 lut 2008, 16:49

Found on the Internet:

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

:d

[ Dodano: 2008-02-13, 08:53 ]
Obrazek Obrazek Obrazek Obrazek
Obrazek

Re: English jokes

Post autor: Ewa_P » 22 sty 2008, 21:59

Adi pisze:"Ok, guys, tea break's over, back on your heads!"


:lol3: Znałam to w polskiej wersji - rzecz się działa w kanałach z... hmm "płynnymi odpadami" :ha: a panowie palili papieroski zanurzeni po pas, ale końcówka brzmiała "koniec przerwy panowie, zanurzamy się" :wink2:

Re: English jokes

Post autor: Adi » 22 sty 2008, 1:26

A Big Decision

A six-year-old boy walked up to his father one day and announced, 'Daddy, I'd like to get married.'
His father replied hesitantly, 'Sure, son, do you have anyone special in mind?'
Yes,' answered the boy. 'I want to marry Grandma.'
Now, wait a minute,' said his father. 'You don't think I'd let you get married with my mother, do you?'
Why not?' the boy asked. 'You married mine.'


Gray Hairs

One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Mom, how come all of grandma's
hairs are white?"

Three Rooms In Hell

A man dies and goes to Hell. The Devil meets him at the gates and says "There are three rooms here. You can choose which one you want to spend eternity in". The Devil takes him to the first room where there are people hanging from the walls by their wrists and obviously in agony. The Devil takes him to the second room where the people are being whipped with metal chains. The Devil then opens the third door, and the man looks inside and sees many people sitting around, up to their waists in garbage, drinking cups of tea. The man decides instantly which room he is going to spend eternity in and chooses the last room. He goes into the third room, picks up his cup of tea and the Devil walks back in saying "Ok, guys, tea break's over, back on your heads!"

Re: English jokes

Post autor: vanity » 15 gru 2007, 18:52

ekstra, aż sobie skopiowałam :D

Re: English jokes

Post autor: DeathlySilence » 15 gru 2007, 18:00

Michal pisze:I've known it in Polish version :D

diuk69 pisze:Faith/Loyal pays :ha: :ha:

I would like to remind that it's an International Section and we write here by other languages than Polish, with pressure on English (look at the tittle of the topic). :-) With or without grammatical mistakes.
Titter pisze:buehehehehe :d

8P It is your second post in this topic which almost dosen't different than previous. :wink:

Re: English jokes

Post autor: Titter » 15 gru 2007, 17:35

buehehehehe :d

Re: English jokes

Post autor: diuk69 » 15 gru 2007, 16:57

Wiernosc poplaca :ha: :ha: /Loyal realy pays, :wink:

:xmas:D:

Re: English jokes

Post autor: Estratos » 15 gru 2007, 16:33

znalem to w wersji polskiej :D

Re: English jokes

Post autor: Marrcino » 15 gru 2007, 16:29

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party.
Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all.
He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose! ! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!'
Love, Jillian

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son... what happened last night?'
'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw up in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean?
I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?'
His son replies, 'Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!!'

Broken Coffee Table £239.99
Hot Breakfast £4.20
Two Aspirins £.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time . . PRICELESS

Re: English jokes

Post autor: [email protected] » 01 lis 2007, 14:02

You've got to love this little girl !!!!!!! :d

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals."
The teacher asked, "Really, and what four little animals would that be sugar?"
The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."
The teacher fainted.
:lol3:

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